I wrote another blog. Its been 6 months since the last one about my birthday so here goes.
A lot has happened to me personally and to my family but I like to listen and observe and not necessarily tell the world about it, like some do. I’m in the middle of writing a novel; an autobiography, some short stories and lots of scribbling of notes, ideas and thoughts. The trouble is I haven’t felt like doing any more to them for ages. It’s not writers block it’s can’t be arsed block. The brain is willing and quite frankly bursting with ideas, it’s the execution that’s at fault. I guess that is something to do with being retired and ‘comfortable’
I’m not trying to be lazy, but when you are that comfortable it seems an effort to do anything that requires brain power. It’s bad enough doing physical stuff, in the garden for example, but the brain uses too much energy. Now you could say ‘lazy bastard’ but that’s not actually the case. Its the old adage that work expands to fill the time available to do it. So not having to cram everything in for the two days of the weekend means I’ve the whole week to do what I want. Of course there’s the daily tasks; eating, drinking, bathroom action, sleeping and slumped in front of the telly trying to stay awake enough to go bed and sleep, again. These tasks take up a good proportion of the day, and eat into leisure time, which is a bind. But, I’ve heard it said many times; I’ve got less life in front of me than I’ve gone through so I’ve got to fill my days with meaningful stuff so I don’t regret anything I didn’t do. Thats cobblers, you can’t spend every day doing something that you should do because you could be dead tomorrow. Daily life has to go on, unless you get into the black science of depression and then you don’t care about anything, least of all yourself. I’ve had many friends, all around my age, who have passed away in the last year or so, some ‘suddenly, others after a protracted illness and that concentrates the mind very well. Naturally there is nothing you can do about either, the first is literally in the laps of the gods, and the second is down to medical science whether you make it not. So I’m slightly philosophical about my eventual demise but I would like to think that I would have had a life well lived. Others may disagree.
So on to the daily ‘grind’, although it’s not. This past summer has shown that good weather and visits from your family certainly make life worthwhile, as does the love of a significant other, as the modern parlance would have it. I prefer the old fashioned wife or husband: girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance, good friend etc.what is a BFF anyway? I don’t get these modern idioms, but then I suppose we had them ‘back in the day’, another hateful expression. I’d prefer, ‘when I was younger’ etc. So my wife of many years makes my life complete. Oh yes we have arguments, and disagreements; I can’t fathom those married couples who have never had a cross word in 30 years of marriage or whatever. It’s inevitable that two people living together will disagree with one another over something, but it depends on who wants to win the argument more is the one who often does, or they make up anyway and all is sweetness and light again. Don’t get me wrong, I hate arguing it makes me feel awful, but it usually ends in a score draw so it’s not all bad.
Sitting here on the cusp of autumn, bathed in warm weather, makes me feel totally relaxed, it engenders a wonderful feeling of wholeness, of being at ease with myself, ready to take on whatever is thrown at me, but at this stage in my life, nothing major will be. The biggest challenge I’ve got at the moment is finishing this piece and then painting a retaining wall. Such is life!