I wish I’d looked after me computer (with acknowledgement to Pam Ayres)

I wish I’d looked after me computer
And been able to properly use her
I call it her because she can be a bitch
Now where’s that off switch
I wish I’d looked after me computer

I wish I had listened more intently
To the tutor on that course recently
I attended to learn
About how I might earn
More money from writing decently

When I think of the software I’ve bought
To improve my performance I ought
To have inspired my brain
But no perceptible gain
Has been noted by me, nought

My boss used to tell me no end
If you’ve got a PC you’ve got a friend
I was younger then and foolish
But I could never finish
Tasks that by email he did send

Oh I’ve played on the keyboard
And the PC would then get bored
Because it would crash
And I didn’t have the cash
To get it repaired, oh gawd

If I’d known I was paving the way
To reboots, hang ups and delays
The pain of a restart
Plays havoc with my heart
‘I wish this bloody thing would work today’

So here I am staring at the screen
Wondering where for the last two hours I’ve been
I’ve tried everything
I’ll try anything
To have a working machine

How I laughed at another computer
Owned by what is called a super user
But now comes the reckoning
Cos its me he’s beckoning
Oh I wish I’d looked after me computer

Clive Handy 2013 ©